A dark night with stars

  So many words and we are just getting started. Well, I was looking online, because where else? About how to connect more with the femenine energy, how to get in touch with this side that many of us have forgotten, pursuing the "I can do it all on my own!" energy. I understand where this comes from, as many of us surely do, my mom was a single mom, be strong, don't rely on others, that is what we hear, and while it is awesome to do your own things and don't sit around and wait, there's more to it. I myself have learnt how harmful and exhausting it can be to, well exist, and even more so if you have something really big and you try and tackle it on your own. Sure, some things only you can deal with, and in the end, everything comes down to you internalizing these processses. But let's see, one day I was walking with an ex, another woman mind you, we went to buy water (here you gotta buy water, usually in 20 lts. containers) and I was carrying it, cos you know,...

 I am understanding that I enjoy duality, the human "realm" and the spiritual, light and dark, in every possible shape or form. I have looked into some apparent contradicting positions in life, and I have been able to understand both sides, because each side has a point that makes sense, at least to some extent. Anyway, I took a very interesting workshop about the menstrual cycle and how the preconceived ideas we women grow up with, well everyone in general, but for example, I had my first period at 9 years old, I perceived it to be treated as a dirty secret, I really disliked it and the pain that came with it, as if it was a curse. Turns out the pain, the cramps, are not normal, not to be expected, that is a disorder and it was sad to see we've grown accustomed to feel them and endure our "terrible faith". So I am writing small notes on how I feel on an app for menstrual period, because in the long run, or after 3 months at least, it will give me an idea of how...

  I was gonna name this "das Experiment" but that's a very cheap and easy joke. You know, cos of the movie..no? Ok never mind. I mean the original, German one, not the remake btw. Anywho, I've sometimes gone off the grid, deleted social media accounts, and whatnot, for some years now I've felt less and less driven to make use of them... Right now you can say I have Facebook, but I don't have "friends" there, I only use to check on local breweries, vegan restaurants, and events. I do have an Instagram, although, I am now seriously pondering if I will keep it or not and what for, I have Twitter which I barely use, I kept it since it "announced" when I went live on Twitch, this makes me wonder, shall I keep my channel or just send it away? On this, I have not decided. So, FB can stay, as I use it to check on things. Insta, I uninstalled the app and might eventually just delete it altogether or not, that depends on what I feel and think this ne...